


We Opened Our Eyes and It’s Changing The View

by headphonesbaby



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Idiots in Love, Please get together already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 11:02:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30037719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headphonesbaby/pseuds/headphonesbaby
Summary: Matt is used to letting things go but this one, this thing with Sylvie, he can’t seem to let go and just move on.  He honestly doesn’t know if it’s can’t or won’t at this point - maybe it’s a mix of both.  He’s thinking of a name for that feeling he gets whenever he thinks of Sylvie. It’s scratching the surface of his brain, he tries to grasp it but it moves just out of reach.  All he knows is Sylvie makes him regress to a sixteen year old teenage boy - all sweaty palms, awkwardness and a complete tongue tied mess.
Relationships: Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 29
Kudos: 103





	We Opened Our Eyes and It’s Changing The View

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, friends.
> 
> Here I am again. Apparently, I have a few more stories I want to tell :)
> 
> The title of this comes from How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful by Florence + The Machine. I've been listening to a lot of her albums lately and the main inspiration for this fic came from the below lines:
> 
> What are we gonna do?  
> We've opened the door, now it's all coming through  
> Tell me you see it too  
> We opened our eyes and it's changing the view
> 
> Where I imagined Matt (finally) acknowledges he is madly in love with Sylvie and a rush of feelings and emotions just pour out of him. Oh well, a girl can dream.
> 
> Anyway, this should have been a lot shorter but it just got away from me.

Matt is used to letting things go but this one, this _thing_ with Sylvie, he can’t seem to let go and just move on.He honestly doesn’t know if it’s can’t or won’t at this point - maybe it’s a mix of both.He’s thinking of a name for that feeling he gets whenever he thinks of Sylvie. It’s scratching the surface of his brain, he tries to grasp it but it moves just out of reach.All he knows is Sylvie makes him regress to a sixteen year old teenage boy - all sweaty palms, awkwardness and a complete tongue tied mess. 

He sighs.He has been replaying what Sylvie told him in the bunk room for the millionth time.He can still feel the fire in her eyes when she lit him up.

Okay, so he can admit he was a total asshole to Grainger but Sylvie got part of it wrong - it definitely had nothing to do with Gabby.He just couldn’t deal with seeing Sylvie and Grainger together for 24 hours at a time.He took it out on the lieutenant and maybe that makes him an even bigger asshole.

Matt at least acknowledges that he needs to fix things. It starts with apologies to people he may have hurt while being spun out.

****

Her words are still echoing in his head as he walks up to Firehouse 40.First stop on the Matt Casey 2021 apology tour is making peace with Greg Grainger.The way Matt sees it, Grainger is likely to be a permanent fixture in Sylvie’s life for the foreseeable future and if he wants a shot at regaining her friendship, he just needs to grit his teeth and admit to being wrong.He doesn’t need to like them being together but the least he could do was act maturely for Sylvie.

He spots the engine lieutenant at the rig checking inventory.Matt takes a deep breath before calling out, “Grainger.”

Greg looks up from his clipboard with a mixture of surprise and confusion on his face. 

“Captain,” he acknowledges, “what brings you here?Did some equipment go missing from Engine because I swear, I checked everything before my last shift there.”

Matt grimaces.Okay, he deserved that.

“No, no, nothing like that,” Matt rubs the back of his neck before continuing, “it’s, uh, been brought to my attention that I was a massive jackass towards you and I, uh, stopped by to clear the air and apologize.”

Greg gives him an appraising look.

“There’s no excuse for how I treated you.You’re a good officer, Grainger.That save at Navy Pier was pretty impressive.I’m really sorry for how I acted.It _was_ unprofessional.I’ve, uh, been dealing with some issues,” Matt admits rather sheepishly.

Grainger sends him a knowing look before responding, “love makes us do stupid things.”

Matt is slightly taken aback by the statement.He admires Grainger’s straightforwardness even as his mind flashes warning signs and he opens his mouth to deny it.W _hat? Love, no, that’s not what this about, no, no, no_ he’s about to say, when Grainger continues.

“She said what happened between the two of you was somewhere in the middle something and nothing - I’m guessing it’s not nothing.”

Matt knows he’s talking about Sylvie.

“It wasn’t nothing,” Matt lets slip before he can stop himself, “but we’re both getting over it.I just want her to be happy.You make her happy.”

Matt’s 100% sincere when he says this.He wants Sylvie to be happy even if it can’t be with him, especially since he needed to sort through his own issues.If anyone deserves all the goodness and happiness the universe could provide, it’s Sylvie Brett. 

“Thanks, Captain.I appreciate you stopping by,” Grainger tells him, “apology accepted.”

Matt nods once and says, “I’ll see you around, Grainger.”

They shake hands and part ways.

***

Sylvie is at Molly’s Patio waiting for Greg to bring back their drinks.When he slides across her, handing her the wine she ordered, he offhandedly mentions Matt going to 40 to apologize about his behavior.

“I told you Casey would come around,” Sylvie smiles, “he’s a good guy.He’s just dealing with some issues right now.” 

She doesn’t know why she always comes to Matt’s defense.It’s like a reflex.She wishes she could stop but she can’t help it.She looks up from her drink to see Greg giving her a strange look.

“Yes?” she asks, uncomfortable, feeling the weight of his gaze.

Greg takes a sip of his beer before answering, “that’s exactly what Casey said - he was dealing with some issues.”

Sylvie brushes this off, “well, hopefully he gets them resolved soon.” 

Feeling the awkwardness, she excuses herself to go to the bathroom.On her way there, she bumps into Matt.

“Hey,” she greets him, smiling, “Greg told me you stopped by 40 earlier.”

If Sylvie recalls it correctly, it’s the first time they’re _really_ talking again.It seemed after the day she kind of blew up at him, they’ve both been cautious around each other, trying to give the other person space.Most of their interaction on shift remained strictly professional.

“Yeah, someone told me I had to get my shit together.Maybe not those exact words but I got the message.” A small smile is playing on Matt’s lips.

Sylvie’s eyes are bright and her smile widens, “sounds like some good advice from a very wise person.I’m glad you took it.”

She really is - glad he understood what she said and happy to see some light returning to Matt’s eyes.He’s been so bogged down the last few months and its just good to know that he’s starting to find his old self again.

Matt laughs, “definitely much smarter than me.She’s the best.”

They hold each other’s gazes for a moment and Sylvie can see the genuineness in his eyes.She knows it’s going to take awhile to move beyond this weird limbo she and Matt are in but somehow she thinks they’re truly beginning again and moving forward, like hitting a reset button.She feels the heat of his stare as she pats his arm and makes her way towards the bathroom.

Matt watches her go and recalls the last time they were in this exact spot. That night he had misinterpreted a friendly hug between Sylvie and the chaplain. He unknowingly pushed her back into Kyle’s arms.At least he didn’t put his foot in his mouth this time.He’ll take the win.

***

It’s one in the morning and Matt can’t sleep.He heard the bells go off for ambo forty minutes ago.He’s can’t sleep because he’s waiting for the medics to get back. It’s not really a lie but in the dark shadow of his heart, he can be honest and say he’s really waiting until he knows Sylvie is safe and sound.He knows whatever he is feeling for her isn’t about to go away anytime soon.Truthfully, maybe he doesn’t want it to go away. 

He still can’t put a name to it.He’s been trying and failing to do so.When did feelings get so complicated anyway?

He decides to get coffee and do some paperwork in the common room while waiting for 61 to return to quarters.

Matt notices Mouch watching an infomercial and remembers he drew the night watch. 

_Well, no better time for the second leg of the Matt Casey apology tour,_ he thinks.

“Mouch,” Matt says as he sits next to the older man on the couch.

“Captain,” Mouch acknowledges, “trouble sleeping?”

Matt thinks it might be his mind playing tricks on him but Mouch has this knowing look on his face.In a flash, the look is gone. Mouch’s attention returns to the TV.

Matt sighs and turns towards Mouch.“Hey, Mouch, I know this is long overdue after that half assed apology I gave you - I’m sorry I didn’t believe you about the aerial.As your officer, I should have known that you don’t make mistakes like that.I should have had your back.You’re a very valuable member of Truck 81.I hope you know that.”

Mouch shrugs off Matt’s apology, “water under the bridge, Casey.”

Matt senses that Mouch has more to say so he prods.

“You look like you have more to say, Mouch.I can take it if you want to rip me a new one.God knows I deserve it with the way I’ve been spinning out lately,” Matt says the last part quietly, eyes suddenly fixed on an incident report.

“Permission to speak freely, Captain?” Mouch inquires.

“Always,” Matt assures him.

“You’re allowed to have more than one great love in your life,” Mouch states matter-of-factly.

 _Wow_. He wasn’t expecting _that_.

He gives Mouch a confused look.Mouch turns off the TV and focuses on Matt.His face serious.

"I’ve known you for a long time, Casey.I’ve seen you with Hallie.This whole house witnessed your love story with Dawson,” Mouch gestures around the empty common room before continuing,“Both of those relationships ended in less than ideal terms but maybe this one is the one that _is_ going to stick.”

Okay, Matt is not imagining things.Mouch is _definitely_ giving him a knowing look.

“This one being with Brett if you haven’t caught my drift,”Mouch says seemingly all business.

“Mouch - I, uh, I’m not sure I follow.”Okay, that’s not the whole truth. Matt _thinks_ he knows where Mouch is going with this.It’s a trippy conversation for sure.Maybe he needs to pinch himself to check if he’s _actually d_ reaming.

Mouch gives him a pointed glare as if to say _sure, you don’t_.

“I’ve watched you and Sylvie dance around each other for the better part of two years.At first, it looked like the two of you were just bonding over your common loss.Who better to understand the hole Dawson left than the two of you, right?”he pauses.

Matt lets Mouch’s words sink in.He remembers telling Sylvie during that high rise fire how pissed off he was about Gabby leaving so suddenly.He recalls hearing the regret in her voice when she informed him about the argument she and Gabby had before the latter took off. How she wished she hadn't fought with Gabby.He realizes how much they were both hurt by Gabby’s decision.Matt is drawn from his thoughts when Mouch continues to speak.

“But then, I continued to observe your dynamic.Every time you or Sylvie had a difficult call, you’d be there for the other.It looked like things were blossoming in their own time.Then you jumped out of a moving fire truck,” Mouch points out, “that was the only confirmation I needed.You have always been level headed on calls. It’s what makes you a good captain but jumping out of a truck to get to Sylvie? That wasn’t a captain thinking, that was a man in love.”

“She - they” Matt corrects himself before continuing, “were in danger,” he stutters trying to find the words deny whatever Mouch was implying, “I - I was doing what anyone would.There wasn’t anything romantic about - ”

Mouch doesn’t seem to hear him or maybe be chooses not to.

“The way you look at her is another indication,” Mouch says simply.

Matt’s confusion grows more. How _exactly_ does he look at Sylvie?This is the second time someone has brought it up.

Matt sighs and takes the bait, his curiosity getting the better of him, “and how do I look at her exactly, Mouch?”

“Like she’s the rising sun,” Mouch tells him as if he’s explaining 1 + 1 = 2 to a three year old.

Matt is speechless then.First Grainger and now Mouch.What was going on with the people he apologized to? 

“Something happened though, didn’t it?”He doesn’t wait for Matt to respond before offering reassurance, “whatever you did, Casey, you can still fix it.Take it from this old guy.”

Mouch pats him on the shoulder, gets up and walks towards the coffee machine.

Matt grabs his coffee and reports and heads back to his quarters a bit shellshocked just as Sylvie and Gianna enter the house.

“Hey Mouch,” Sylvie greets.She doesn’t want to play favorites but Mouch has always been special to her, especially after their _Sheets on Fire_ shenanigans.Secretly, she’s still hoping they can get it published. “Want some company?” She offers.

“Nah,” Mouch waves her off, “you’ve had way too may calls.You should get some sleep, Brett.”

Mouch is right.it has been a long day and all Sylvie wants is to crash on her bed.She is about to head for the bunk room when Mouch speaks again.

“He’s working on it, kid.Give him time.”

She turns around, slightly confused, about to ask Mouch what he means but she sees him back at his spot switching on the TV.Sylvie lets it go, hoping to get a few hours of sleep before the bells go off again. 

***

He hasn’t thought about Gabby for a long time but maybe Sylvie has a point there; he never really fully closed that door.Gabby departed for Puerto Rico so abruptly after their last fight that he was left to deal with the fallout on his own.When she blew back into town over a year ago, it felt like closure but then, after that damn voicemail, maybe it wasn’t.

Matt knows he has to confront his feelings for Gabby head on and the only way to do it was to talk to her.Gabby isn’t dropping by Chicago anytime soon so he shoots her an email asking how she was doing and if they could talk.

Gabby responds a few days later updating Matt on life on the island.They agree on a time to chat.

That time is five minutes from now.Matt feels a nervous energy coursing through his body.He’s not sure how the conversation is going to go.He’s not even sure what he _wants_ to say.

Suddenly, his phone is ringing and Gabby’s face is appearing on the screen.

“Hey, stranger,” she greets with a wide grin, “it’s been a long time.”

“Hi Gabby,” Matt smiles.

He sees her face and he just _knows_.He knows he will always have love in his heart for Gabby because they went through a lot together, all the ups and downs, the good and the bad, but he’s not _in love_ with her anymore.

He hasn’t been in a long time. _Oh._

Gabby is saying something about Puerto Rico.He is only half listening, still digesting what he just figured out.How did he just figure this out?

“Matt, I think I lost you there for a second.You've got your thinking face on.What’s up?”she asks.

“I’ve moved on,” Matt blurts out more to himself than to Gabby but it’s loud enough for her to hear.He wants to bang his head on a wall - he doesn’t know why he said it, it just came out that way.He winces and looks at Gabby on the screen.

She lets out a short laugh.

“So you reached out to tell me you’ve moved on?”She has an incredulous look on her face.“Matt, we’re divorced.I know the last time I came home, we agreed it wasn’t a mistake but it didn’t change anything, did it?You’re in Chicago, I’m here and last I checked, we are still divorced.”

Huh.She’s taking this better than he expected.Maybe you can be friends with your ex.

“Sorry I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.I just, I wanted to be sure before I -“ He trails off.

His feelings for Sylvie, they’re not just any non-platonic feelings.He is realizing at this very moment that he’s fallen in love with her.Matt _finally_ has a name for it.It happened so naturally that he missed it.He went from wanting to be around her to wanting to be _with_ her.It’s just now hitting him like a fucking tsunami.

Matt is completely, irreversibly in love with Sylvie Brett.

_Holy shit._

“Matt,” Gabby snorts, “your mind is wandering again.”

Matt looks at Gabby and he’s still at a loss for words.“I - I completely missed it,” he stammers still reeling from his epiphany.He’s mouth is closing and opening but no sound is coming out.

Rather than ask what he missed, Gabby decides to take advantage of a distracted Matt to satisfy her curiosity.If he’s still the Matt Casey she knows well, there must be someone causing this tailspin of his. 

“So, who is she?”Gabby questions, leaning into the screen.

Before Matt can stop himself, he just lays it all out, “it’s Sylvie and I, I missed it.I just _really_ missed it.”

Gabby thinks she should be more surprised but she really isn’t.She has known Matt for a long time and she was partners with Brett on 61.They’re both self sacrificing, inherently dutiful and just plain, good hearted people. If she is being completely honest, she’s surprised it took them this long to get together.

“Oh _God_.”

She hears Matt groan on the other end.

“I wasn’t supposed to say that, was I?” Matt looks guiltily at her.

“Hey, we’re cool,” Gabby guarantees him, “I mean, the two of you are just so alike.Come to think of it, it makes perfect sense.I am genuinely happy for the both of you, Matt.”

“We’re, uh, we’re not together,” Matt clarifies, “she’s with someone else.”

Gabby raises an eyebrow.This is the part that actually startles her.By the looks of Matt right now, he is head over heels for Brett but there’s something he’s not telling her.She doesn’t want to pry further though.Getting involved in her ex-husband’s love life seems a bit too intrusive even for her.She can see Matt’s brows furrowed, lips turned into a frown, mind elsewhere again.He’s retreating into himself.He’s trying to let it go.Gabby feels some sadness wash over her.She remembers how the both of them let go of each other but maybe it was meant to be that way.Maybe _this_ is the relationship he wasn’t meant to let go.

“Hey!” she half yells at her phone, “look at me, Casey.I am still very much familiar with that weird expression you are wearing right now.Don’t go throwing yourself a pity party, please.Whatever happened between the two of you - fix. it.”

Matt looks at her, a small crooked smile on his face.“I forgot how single minded you were, Dawson,” he says.

“I am _determined_ to get through to you,” she corrects.“Seriously, Matt, fix whatever it is that possessed you to call up your ex-wife to confirm that fact that you have indeed moved on,” Gabby states cheekily, waving her hands around trying to convey her point.

“Right, right, thanks Gabby for the, um, pep talk, I guess.” Matt says still in a daze.

“Anytime, Matt.I have to go but give 51 my love,” she says before ending the call.

Matt places his phone on the night stand and lays on the bed staring at the ceiling.

Absentmindedly, he rubs his eyes feeling so tired all of a sudden. He runs through the things he has learned over just the last thirty minutes.He’s definitely moved on from Gabby. His ex-wife just gave him some words of encouragement and oh yeah, he is absolutely in love with Sylvie Brett.

Could this night have taken a weirder turn?

***

Sylvie is curled up on her couch with a mug of hot chocolate, watching a re-run of House Hunters on HGTV.She is mindlessly scrolling through instagram when a new post from Gabby catches her eye.It’s a picture of the two of them at one of the CFD picnics.They’re both in sunglasses and bright coloured tank tops, all smiles.She reads the caption: _missing the best partner a girl could have a little bit more today._

She smiles and double taps, leaving a comment too.

_Love you always, partner._

She hopes Matt reached out to Gabby.It still hurts a little but he deserves to be with the person he wants to be with.She just wants him to be happy even if it can’t be with her. 

***

Now that Matt has a name for the feeling, he begins to think of ways to patch things up with Sylvie.He understands he has to respect certain boundaries because she’s with Grainger but he just wants her back in his life.He knows it is much better with Sylvie in it, in any shape, way or form possible.

He’s been waiting for an opportunity to both apologize and thank her.They have been on back-to-back-to-back calls in the last few shifts so he hasn’t been able to talk to her.He spots her by herself at Molly’s after shift. Looks like he gets to kills two birds with one stone tonight.

He flags down Stella and orders a glass of rosé.Stella gives him a look but doesn’t say anything as she goes to get the wine bottle.Matt looks over his shoulder to check if Sylvie is still alone, not wanting to have this conversation with a third party around.He confirms she’s still on her own, busy with her phone.

Stella returns and places the glass in front of him.“Interesting choice tonight, Casey,” she says fixing him with the same look from earlier.

“It’s not for me,” Matt explains.He is about to grab the glass and walk towards Sylvie when Stella leans in and whispers, “you are an idiot, Casey, but just so you know, I’m still rooting for you.”

He is dumbfounded a second before he gets what Stella is saying.

“Thanks - I think?”He raises his eyebrows, nods and grabs the glass shaking off Stella’s remarks.

Sylvie is texting Greg when a wine glass is placed in front of her.She looks up in surprise to see Matt smiling shyly at her.She recognizes the look of determination in his eyes.It’s the same look he had that night he showed up at her apartment.

“A glass of the good rosé Stella keeps behind the bar,” he informs her with a flourish.

She smiles, a bit stunned that Matt even remembers that particular conversation.“Thanks, but what did I do to deserve this?”

He’s giving her the patented Matt Casey look now, all seriousness, solely focused on her.She can feel butterflies in her stomach.She hates how she always gets this feeling when it comes to Matt.How long does it take to get over someone you were never in a romantic relationship with anyway? _Depends on whether you want to move on or not_ , one part of her brain is saying.She quiets her thoughts and sends a small smile Matt’s way.

He has his hands in his pockets, opening and closing his mouth a few times before taking a seat and finally speaking.“A thank you for kicking my ass into gear and an apology for, for, how, you know, things, uh -“

His hands are flying all over the place.Sylvie can sense he is nervous but she is not sure why.He continues to stammer as he tries to finish his sentence.Sylvie rests her hands on her chin waiting for him to continue.

“How things between us fractured,” Matt finishes, biting his lower lip.

Sylvie’s first instinct is to comfort him and tell him none of this was his fault.She should have known that Matt was still in love with Gabby. When he showed up at her door that night, sheshouldn’t have kissed him but she just couldn’t help herself.She finally gave in to her feelings for him. 

“Matt,” she begins to say, resting her hand on top of his, “what happened, we agreed it was on both of us, remember?We have always been able to read each other well but I think we lost that for a bit, huh?” 

Matt looks at her and nods. “I spoke to Gabby.”

Sylvie pulls back her hand.She feels a slight sting like someone is pressing gauze with alcohol on a small wound but pushes it down and returns her gaze to Matt, “That’s so, so good to hear, Matt.I hope you got what you needed.”There’s that sting again but she reminds herself that maybe this will bring the old Matt Casey back.

Matt is still staring at her intently.“I realized a few things during our conversation.I finally know what I want.”

She feels some kind of pressure in his gaze, it’s nothing bad but it’s different, like he’s trying to say more.“And what is it that you want?” She asks in a small voice, so soft that Matt needs to lean in to hear her question.

“I want -“ Matt starts but, before he can finish, Greg arrives.He kisses Sylvie on the cheek.“Hi, sorry I’m late.Oh hey, Captain.” he says finally noticing Matt at the table with Sylvie. “do you want a beer?I’m headed to the bar,” he offers.

Matt shakes his head and slides off the stool.“Nah, I’m good.I’m meeting Severide out on the patio.You two have a good night.”He takes one last look at Sylvie before making his exit.

Greg doesn’t ask her what they talked about.It’s something she likes about him - he’s easy going and uncomplicated.She tries to focus on their conversation but her mind drifts to the last thing Matt was saying before being interrupted.

_I want._

_What is it that you want, Matt?._ She thinks.

***

Matt knows he has to continue to work hard to repair his relationship with Sylvie.He spots her in the locker room before shift.He looks around to check if they were alone before approaching her.

“Hey,” he says softly.

Sylvie jumps a bit at his voice clearly lost in her thoughts.“Hey,” she responds, smiling at him, “what’s up?”

“Listen, I, uh, I just wanted to apologize again and let you know that if you’re still willing to have me, I promise to be better at it this time.”He hears what he is saying and it is vague even to him.“I mean, you and I, we’ve been really good friends and I’d really, really like us to get back on track.”

Sylvie’s absentmindedly twisting her watch band but she’s nodding her head, “yeah, of course, always, Matt.”

They share a look before Matt gives a double thumbs up.His first thought is at least it’s not the awkward clap like last time but a double thumbs up isn’t really any better.

_God, he is really embarrassing himself right now.Let the Earth just open up and swallow him whole._

“Right - well I, uh, have to finish some paperwork.Good talk,” he says, nodding vigorously but wincing internally. _Good talk?_ He’s about to back pedal when the bells go off.

_Truck 81, Squad 3, Engine 51, Ambulance 51, structure fire 2101 North Racine Avenue._

_Saved by the freaking bell,_ Matt thinks as they run to the app floor.

_***_

As Ambulance 61 pulls back in, Matt notices Sylvie rush back into the house without looking at anyone.Something must have happened after the last call.He catches Mackey as she’s getting out of the ambulance.

“What happened?” he inquires.

Mackey looks at him, clearly shaken.“The kid didn’t make it to Med,” she sighs looking defeated.“I mean, I knew it was bad when Brett told me to drive.She rarely lets me drive the rig.We weren’t even half way to Med when he flatlined.Brett revived him but he went into cardiac arrest again.She really tried.I heard everything - the kid, he was calling for his mom and he just -“

“Hey, are you okay, Mackey?” sometimes Matt worries about the medics the most having to deal with all those injuries after the rescues.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, Captain,” she assures him, “I should go check up on Brett though.”

Matt stops her, “No, go be with the others.It helps, trust me.I’ll look for Brett.I’ll also request Boden to take 61 out of service for a few hours.”

The corners of Mackey’s mouth turn up, already feeling slightly better,“thanks Captain."

Sylvie is sitting on the floor of one of the shower stalls, the curtain closed.It was a brutal call having to watch a thee year old child die in front of her.She knows there is so much suffering and death wrapped in their line of work but some days, it just really gets to her.Sometimes she wishes she could switch her emotions off during shift but it’s impossible.She hugs her knees and lets out a small sob just as the shower curtain is drawn back.

She looks up to see Matt, worry etched on his face.He doesn’t say anything, instead he crouches down and sits next to her on the cold tile floor.He wraps his arms around her and she lets him draw her into his embrace.She continues to cry softly as he rubs her back.It’s intimate, natural and easy.Sylvie instantly feels safe.

She can hear him whisper in her hair. “Let it out, it’s going to be okay, Sylvie.I’m not letting go.”

And she believes him because he’s Matt Casey - she leaned on him so many times and he’s given her so much strength.She doesn’t doubt he’ll hold on to her for as long as she needs him to.

***

Matt is sitting with Kelly at Molly’s Patio talking about one of their crazier calls last shift when Stella drops by, bringing some news.“So I heard Brett and Grainger broke up.”She gives him a meaningful look.

Matt just stares at Stella unable to form words.

“I think you just short circuited his brain, Stella,” Kelly laughs, “yo, Earth to Casey.You okay there, bud?”

He snaps out of it.“Yeah, all good.”He takes a long pull of his beer. Matt spends the rest of the night barely listening to Kelly and Stella’s conversation, his mind drifting away the whole time.

***

Sylvie is waiting outside her apartment for Matt to pick her up.It’s been three months since she and Greg ended it.He was a sweet guy but they wanted different things and mutually agreed to split up.She recollects how Greg told her to let the right one in as they hugged goodbye. He had this look on his face that she couldn’t place, like he knew something she didn't.Sylvie is still lost in her thoughts when a honk jolts her.She looks up to see Matt’s truck pull into view.She hops in and greets him.

“So how many houses are we looking at today?”

Matt told her two week ago that he was planning to move out of Severide’s place feeling that he already overstayed his welcome especially after Stella and Severide got engaged a month back.He also asked for her help to look at apartments and houses.She giddily said yes and by that shift’s end has managed to produce a spreadsheet for him listing all the properties she thought he’d like remembering all the things he told her before - larger shower, no big windows, etc.

“Just two,” Matt says, “but I did promise you breakfast first.There’s a new place that opened up just two blocks from the first house and it has outdoor dinning if you want to try that.I heard their pancakes are good.”

Sylvie beams at him. “You had me at pancakes.Lead the way, Captain.”

They settle into a comfortable silence as Matt drives to the the restaurant.Sylvie switches on the radio trying to find a station she liked.The last time they drove around looking at apartments, they had gotten into a debate on the definitive ranking of Taylor Swift albums.Sylvie argued Fearless was number one because hello, that album has Love Story, White Horse and You Belong With Me. Completely iconic from Sylvie’s perspective but Matt made a case for Folklore being the best album of 2020.In the end, they decided there was absolutely no way to rank the albums.Who knew Matt Casey was a closet Swifty?

Sylvie looks out the window.It’s just easy, she thinks, how everything fell right back into place - like how that night was erased from their collective memory and they went back to being friends like nothing happened.She knows Matt is making an effort to regain her trust because he continues to opens up more.They learn something new about each other almost every day. Matt tells her about Christie and parts of his childhood. He talks about how much he misses Hallie. Sylvie explains what it's like growing up on a farm, in a tiny Indiana town. She mentions how much she misses her family, Scott and Amelia especially during the pandemic. It's not all heavy conversations. She recalls Matt casually admits one time, while they are having lunch, to reading all four Twilight books because Hallie made him.Sylvie laughed so hard that she choked a bit on her milkshake.She proceeded to tell him she’s team Jacob all the way.Unlike the never ending discussion about Taylor Swift albums, they agreed that the fourth book just flat out sucked. 

Matt never mentioned how his conversation with Gabby went and Sylvie decided it wasn’t her place to ask.By the looks of it though, it had a positive result.She notices the air of lightness about him, like he is no longer carrying all the excess baggage he did some months back.She glances at him and smiles softly.She’s happy for him.

***

They’re walking into the second house of the day and Matt just feels it.This is the place where he’s going to build a home.It’s a two story townhouse in a good neighborhood,a bit of a fixer upper but he thinks he can handle the challenge.Maybe he can even rope in Sylvie to helping him.He know she loves this type of stuff.

He’s in the kitchen examining the cabinets when Sylvie calls out.“Matt, you have to see all this closet space.”

Matt follows her voice.He can literally feel her excitement.He finds her in the master bedroom gawking at the walk in closet.“I want to marry this closet.Just look at it.”She sighs dreamily, spinning around the empty space.

It hits him then.How much more in love he is with her.How every day his feelings just keep growing in small increments.He smiles at her.Matt can feel a deep longing for Sylvie that seeps into his bones.He’s been trying to push it away, not wanting to rock the boat but maybe he does have to tell her.He’s thinking of how to bring it up when recalls their unfinished conversation.

“You asked me what I wanted,” he says, leaning on the door frame.

Sylvie stops spinning, a confused look on her face.

“At Molly’s, that night, a few months back - you asked me what I wanted and I never got to tell you,” he’s focused on her, his voice growing more confident.

Sylvie looks like a deer caught in headlights.She’s beginning to remember that particular conversation.She blushes slightly at the heat of Matt’s gaze on her.She whispers, “what do you want?”

Matt steps closer.“I want a partner, someone I can grow with, someone who makes me believe in brighter, better things. I want _you_ , Sylvie.”

He is stepping even closer now, so close that Sylvie can feel his heartbeat, she can smell aftershave and saw dust mixed together.It’s intoxicating.

“Gabby and I, we had a good run but it ended because we weren’t right for each other.She will always have a place in my heart, just like Hallie always will, but I want a chance to explore what we have,” he says, “just you and me.”

Sylvie slowly nods, taking in everything he said, before speaking.“Matt, our friendship, it just came so easily.The last few months we spent not talking, I hated it.It was literally the worst.I don’t want that to happen again.If we’re going to do this, there cannot be any more miscommunication.We both need to put in the effort to make this work.”

“I’ll put in all the effort in the world for you, Sylvie Brett.That I can guarantee.I am all in,” Matt is grinning as he interlaces his fingers in hers.

“Okay,” Sylvie smiles back, squeezing his hand, “no turning back now.”

He grabs her waist and spins her around until Sylvie’s foot gets caught on Matt’s leg and they fall to the ground in a crumpled heap, laughing breathlessly.Matt looks at her, at the woman he’s been hopelessly in love with for God knows how long and he just can’t stop the next few words from coming out of his month.“I love you.”

Sylvie smiles at him, eyes twinkling, cupping his cheek.He leans into her warm touch.“I love you too.”

His face breaks out into a full on grin.It takes Sylvie’s breath away.She thinks his smile will never not take her breath away.

He closes the gap between them and kisses her.It’s soft, sweet and full of promise. Sylvie can feel the smile on his lips.

***

They walk hand in hand on the way to the firehouse all smiles and open, loving glances at each other, no longer in denial or needing to hide their true feelings.

Matt and Sylvie are greeted by Cruz on the app floor.“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” He crosses his arms and motions to their intertwined hands with his chin.

Sylvie blushes while Matt focuses on anything but Cruz and his smirk.

“So, how long as this been going on?” Cruz inquires.He is definitely not letting this go.

Matt and Sylvie look at each other.Matt is debating on whether to pull rank and tell Cruz to shut the hell up but instead he sighs before admitting, “two days ago and we would appreciate it if -“

Before he can finish, Cruz begins to shout as he moves to the common room where everyone is gathering for breakfast, “hey, who had two days ago in the betting pool?”

Matt has an annoyed expression on his face but Sylvie bumps his shoulder and drags him to the common room to figure out what the commotion is about.They find Cruz handing Mouch a wad of cash.

Sylvie’s mouth hangs open.“You bet on when we would get together?” She doesn’t know if she should find this amusing or not.She looks at Matt who has a pained look on his face but she can see he’s trying hard not to laugh.He turns to her and shrugs.“Let them have their fun.” He squeezes her hand.

Mouch approaches them, a big grin on his face. “Even Chief got in on the action although if memory serves, he thought you,” pointing to Matt, “weren’t going to work up the nerve until next Christmas.”

Matt just stares back slightly indignant. _Next Christmas?_ He can feel Sylvie laughing quietly beside him.He pokes her side and she yelps, swatting him on the arm.

Mouch addresses Sylvie.“I told you he was working on it.”Mouch winks then walks away counting the bills in his hand, “pleasure doing business, everyone.”

“What was that about?” Matt asks her.

“I don't actually know.” Sylvie shakes her head in disbelief. 

***

A year after they got together, Matt asks Sylvie to move in with him.He is bringing boxes into the walk in closet where he’s made space for Sylvie’s things.Sylvie is barefoot, sitting cross legged on the floor taking out her clothes from the boxes scattered around. She’s in an old CFD sweater Matt recognizes as his.Her hair is pulled in a tight, high pony tail.She is humming to herself as she meticulously refolds her sweaters.She gets up and puts them in one of the shelves.Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Matt.Sylvie turns around to find him standing in the doorway holding her last box of clothing.She smiles at him, resembling pure sunshine.

Some days he still can’t believe they’ve come this far.He doesn’t think it’s possible to love her more than he already does but every day, it keeps growing still.He thinks nobody has the right to be this ridiculously happy, least of all him.

“You look like you have something to say,”Sylvie observes as she takes the box from him and places it on the floor.

“Marry me,” Matt blurts out unceremoniously.He's been waiting for the perfect moment.He even had this whole speech prepared in his head but seeing her here in his, no, _their_ , home, in the walk in closet where they had their second kiss and said their first I love you’s seemed like the right time.

“Matt -“ Sylvie is at a loss for words. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, Matt produces a ring.He’s kneeling in front of her now, his eyes hopeful.Sylvie looks at the ring and then at him.She’s so stupidly in love with this man in front of her that she doesn’t even hesitate.

“YES!” She jumps into his arms and tackles him to the ground.She grins at him, her eyes shinning with unshed, happy tears.“Yes, a thousand times over.”They laugh.He slides the ring on her finger, brushes the tears from her eyes and kisses her with all he’s got.

 _So this is what it’s like to find happiness in each other after running away from these feelings for so long,_ Sylvie muses.She never imagined they’d actually end up here.It was a long, messy, ride but looking back, she wouldn’t change anything and she knows neither would he.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Also, Mouch totally knows and if you can't tell, I love dorky Casey. Glad we got to see it in 9x08.
> 
> Hope everyone's keeping safe. 
> 
> Much love and peace x


End file.
